Wednesday, October 31, 2007
listen
i guess that two old folks behind just had a agrument for gods knows what. haha. i guess when people say "the older you grow, the more childish you will be". that phrase is perrrrffffeeccct for that 2 oldest staff in my office.
10:34:00 AM
life is damn bored in office as usual. my workload is ZERO so i'm damn free every single day not knowing what to do. anyway i'm sad to say that the people here don't like designed design kind of poster. i did a poster design for the countdown party 2008 that will be held in the CC and after the committe has seen it, they want me to change it! MY GOD! in the end, my poster turn out to be like those ugly, no creativity needed kind of poster that blends to all the other boring poster on the notice board.
what a waste of MY time.
now, i'm so looking forward to a new environment that i will be in but god knows when that will happen.
mOo mOo has already went for field camp and so i'll be bored for the next 6 days with no one to talk to on the phone. and the worst part is that i didn't manage to find someone to go shopping with me! it's pay day and i can't spend my money.
what a luck.
Monday, October 22, 2007
you feel that it's eating you up bit by bit and that's scary
when one can't adapt what can one do? that's a million dollar question i always ask myself every now and then.
8:51:00 PM
seriously, this slow pace kind of evironment is driving my crazy. i've really made a wrong choice coming in and now i'm afraid of making the wrong choice getting out. benny said "it's better to be earning less in a job that you like rather than earning alot in a job that you hate." that's what i told myself too. but i'm afraid that i didn't stay long enough to get to really feel how is working here like.
i really do pray that the lord can give me a hand. i need a damn obvious direction on where i should go. i've always missed good opportunity as it always come a little too late and i'm sick of it.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
what if. one day. you know.
have you ever had the time once in a while to really sit down and think?
12:35:00 PM
so happen, today was my day.
the house was empty, no tv and no music. i was waiting for him to call but 3hrs had passed and still no news. i just stoned in the room and radom thoughts started flowing in.
although i had only been in my new job for 20 days, never had i felt i've made a very wrong choice. thou there's really nothing to complain about, but i guess i just needed something or perhaps someone to inspire me and push me, telling me that i'm be able to do great things in life that will leave an impact perhaps not to the world but at least to the people around me. what i can see in my current situation is that people are so contented to what they have and they just seem to stop being inspire and inspiring people.
after a real bad night on tue, i know that bro and mom are damn worried what has happen to me. seeing me cry in such a way must have really scare them since i have never ever cried that way before. they both ask me "what happen" and my usual reply is "nothing". i know deep inside what will be their reaction if i were to tell them what really did happen. they will ended up saying that i'm dumb instead of trying to understand why i've felt that way.
so bro has been rather strange after tue. when he was talking to me, i can feel that his trying to be very selective on the words he use and every day, he would ask me how's work and everything. on thurs night, he got home very late and he saw me lying on the sofa writing my diary. instead of sleeping or going to take a shower, he sat down beside me. i put my diary aside and we started chatting. i know he wanted to know more what had happen but i just don't wish to let him know. there's no point for him to know anyway. so we were chatting about work. it's great to know that bro have found the job that he like cause he wanted to work with old people and as for me, i know what i want but things always never seem to happen my way. i've always missed the opportunity.
now the only thing i can do is count down for a year so i can move on to somewhere i wanna be.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
a whole is make up of two halves
MYMP - Especially for you
1:14:00 AM
Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was going through
All the time we were apart
I thought of you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same
Especially for you
I wanna tell you I was feeling that way too
And if dreams were wings, you know
I would have flown to you
To be where you are
No matter how far
And now that I'm next to you
No more dreaming about tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to say
It's all because of you
And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you
Especially for you
I wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
How I'm certain that our love was meant to be
You changed my life
You showed me the way
And now that I'm next to you
I've waited long enough to find you
I wanna put all the hurt behind you
And I wanna bring out all the love inside you,
And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you
You were in my heart
My love never changed
And now that I'm next to you
No more dreaming about tomorrow
Forget the loneliness and the sorrow
I've got to sayIt's all because of you
And now we're back together, together
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true
And all the love I have is
Especially for you
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
i'm sorry that i didn't feel it when you do. but at least i did in the end.
it has been 17 days working in a brand new enviornment and i can happily tell myself it's not a place i wanna be in at all. i can't find words to describe it but the people there are just different. way too different from other jobs that i have tried before.
12:25:00 AM
if money is all that you are after in a job, i'm glad to introduce mine to you.
ever since i'm here, things never seem to work out well enough. one of the very thing i hate is shift work. it sort of eat up your entire day leaving you not much time to do anything else. i see that coming before i join but trust me it's much worst for one to expect. everything there is slow and mono. there's nothing that will inspire you to move forward or to do even better or even to stay in that place. now i'm already thinking when i should i leave that place if things continue to be this way.
for the pass few days, it had been real stressed. surfing the net and checking the newspaper looking for a new place to stay is really tough. it's double the tough when time is not by your side. in the end, we found a place and paid $700 for a room which i really regret 1 day later. i find myself stupid to do something like that when the night before i told him that things will work out fine as long as we have each other.
i thought thru the night and i seriously find that it's too late since i've already sign the docuements.
how i wish this is a bad dream.
Monday, October 15, 2007
you are the most beautiful creation of god
LIBRA - The Harmonizer Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
12:10:00 AM
GEMINI - The Chatterbox Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
Friday, October 12, 2007
hi. how are you?
4:54:00 PM
was surfing around friendster and i found this in xin kai's profile.
wat really caught my attention was not the people but the surrounding. a place that i didn't know i'll miss so much to be there now. a place where fun and joy are in. our DLA studio.
those days were really precious. the days where everyone would be doing their own stuff, blasting all sort of funny songs, talking out lound, running around the studio, making fun of each other and sneaking out for mac breakfast. all those beautiful memmories. now that everyone has found a job, i'm sure everyone is missing the life.
the life in DLA.
Monday, October 08, 2007
monday has never been this blue
i walked out of the door with you inside, knowing that it will be another 5 days before i'll see you again.
8:48:00 PM
darling, i hate that so much.
i hate mondays.
now, i'm totally in no mood for work. but i still have to think about the design for the newsletter and also for the marketing kit.
god, this suck.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
day passes like years
in office again doing like NTH. chun if you are reading this, trust me now i'm more free than you are. haha you must be thinking then why the hell i'm not online.
5:16:00 PM
ok, let you tell you a very suay problem. i can't get in & i dunno why! i tried all watsoever ways but i still can't get in. damn it man everybody is like using msn except me!
so yeah, my day passes like years here. so far, i've got nothing to do and trust me i felt damn weird even till now. everyday you go work, sit at the front desk and stone for the whole morning! in the afternoon, i'll just hide in the office and surf my afternoon away.
i'm just hoping that marketing thing can start moving so i can get involve in it.
damn, i'm bored.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
never had i felt this way
it's lunch time & i'm totally bored in my new office.
12:44:00 PM
new desk, new system, new passwordS and new enviornment...everything is so unfamiliar.
never had i felt this insecure before.